just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize