Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
then he tried to convert me to islam
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
