I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
