I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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