Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
