Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
She announced her abortion via fbk
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
