If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
