I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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