reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She even gives head with a lisp.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
