the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
