i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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