He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
