his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
high people should be assigned attendants
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
