I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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