Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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