I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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