I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize