Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
