I don't think brook has ever known best
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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