Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
i black out too much to be "responsible"