Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
