i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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