I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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