brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
