do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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