omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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