I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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