Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
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Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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