So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
