Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
