He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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