I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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