It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
