As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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