Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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