DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
