You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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