On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
