I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I lost the right to judge tonight
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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