i wish starbucks made bloody marys
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
i need some magic done to my vagina
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