we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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