Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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