Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.

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(845): View more from New York

She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.

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(253): View more from Washington

Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.

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(831): View more from California

It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics

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(970): View more from Colorado

I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring

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(828): View more from North Carolina

I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.

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(407): View more from Florida

he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.

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