It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
