You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
