you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
That was before I lit my hair on fire
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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