HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
