literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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