His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
