brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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