The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
