DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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