I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
