ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize