Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
