We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
