Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I need to align my fucking chakras
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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