I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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