The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
